Phil: yo man
Grant: yo
Phil: open up man
Grant: what do you want man?
Phil: Someone just shot me
Grant: You let them shoot you?
Phil: I don\'t know how I let this happen
Grant: do you know who?
Phil: no, I don’t, you know?
Grant: man...
Phil: I don\'t know what to do
Grant: say it wasn\'t you
Phil: alright...
chorus 1 (Phil) Someone shot me and I caught them red-handed creeping behind a hedge
Picture this, they were hiding and shot and I fell off the edge
How could I forget that that someone wanted to kill me?
All this time I was standing there they shot at me
(Grant) You should have seen who it really was
It must have been hard, though, you had just been shot
You better watch your back before they do it again
Otherwise you may be falling down the drain
Do you have a clue who it really was?
Never believe them, you my get cross
chorus 2 Phil: but they shot me on the doorstep
Grant: it wasn\'t me
Phil: fell down and must have misstepped
Grant: it wasn\'t me
Phil: Ian Beale thought I was drunk
Ian: it wasn\'t me
Phil: He just left me like junk
Grant: it wasn\'t me
Phil: Mark Fowler threw fruit
Mark: It wasn’t me
Phil: he’s too fruity to shoot
Grant: it wasn\'t me
Phil: Maybe it was Stevie Owen
Grant: it wasn\'t me
Phil: Maybe he kept on going’
(chorus 1) I had tried to keep Mum from what she was about to see
Why should I believe them when they tell me ‘It wasn’t me’
(Grant) Tell me who they are and I’ll knock their heads off
Make ‘em look like a picture by Van Gogh
It may seem funny, but you just got shot
It may seem funny but it really is not
Whoever did the crime didn’t do it very well
They were supposed to shoot you dead and shoot you good as well
Mitchell, your answer: go over there but if you pack a gun, take that, not Mel
How could I forget that someone wanted to kill me?
All this time I was standing there they shot at me
They got to tell me that they’re sorry for the thing that they’ve done
Of course I’m gonna tell the cops they shot me with a big gun
We should tell them that they’re bad at aiming in the head
You may think that I‘m a goody but I should be dead (chorus 1)